i had a game when i was a kid* called medical monopoly (you can probably guess how cool i was just from that sentence alone). basically you got a card with symptoms and had to correctly diagnose the condition to move ahead...i know, totally awesome, right? so today i’m offering up a little twist – are you ready to play veterinary monopoly? here’s your symptoms:
- large amount of arterial blood from penis
- no visible marks
- several hours post-seizure
because zander presented with these symptoms he got to take a little trip to our vet today and the diagnosis pretty much surprised all who were present. this xray is the last hint before i reveal the diagnosis:
diagnosis: fractured penis
poor zanny broke his penis. we’ve had several dogs with seizure disorders and for all intents and purposes zander’s are fairly standard with the exception of how violently he thrashes about. unfortunately his seizures usually happen in the middle of the night when he’s asleep on the couch and by the time we’re awakened he’s already flung himself to the ground. that is exactly the scenario that happened early this morning and at some point in the midst of the seizure the infraction (ha, i kill me) occurred. i can’t believe zan broke his penis …and seems unphased by it to boot.
*in the interest of honesty i should note that the game remains in my possession (i’ve only suckered dave into playing once)